Hey, y’all. Time for a character interview with the infamous, Evan Walker. He’s a bit of a tough one, especially for a fifteen-year-old, so let’s see what we can get out of him.
Me: Hi, Evan, Thanks for joining me today.
Evan: Yeah. Sure. They’re counting this as a part of my community service, so whatever.
Me: Community service? What for?
Evan: I have a propensity for using fire in ways that get out of hand. Sometimes. Allegedly.
Me: I see. It seems you have more than fire in your arsenal. At least, according to your file.
Evan: Did Lily give you that? More to be said than what’s officially on paper. Not that anyone really cares what really happened, so long as someone has been punished for the inconvenience.
Me: I plead the fifth on the file, so why don’t we get into it.
Evan: Whenever you’re ready.
Me: Do you have any pets?
Evan: Just Moon, my end-of-the-year project. I’m still working on Mom to let me build her a habitat in the backyard, but for some reason, she’s not happy with the thought of a dragon nest so close to the house. Not after what happened at school.
Me: What happened at school?
Evan: You have my file.
Me: That wasn’t in your file.
Evan: Too bad for you, then, huh?
Me: Do you put both socks on first, or one sock, one shoe?
Evan: Both socks first. I’m not a monster.
Me: If you could cure one disease, which one would you cure?
Me: I don’t know if you could consider that a disease.
Evan: It is.
Me: How do you feel about two new additions to your friends list?
Evan: Lily’s good. She’s quick and not afraid to go toe-to-toe with others. I’ve got respect for that. But Starr isn’t my friend. She’s Lily’s friend. Just so we’re clear.
Me: What do you hope to do after high school?
Evan: Move out of my parents’ house.
Me: How will you do that? Got a job in mind? College?
Evan: I’ve considered giving college a try, but I’ve heard it’s not for smart people. Regardless, I’ll probably keep dabbling in Alchemy and animals.
Me: Is there a job out there that combines the two?
Evan: If there isn’t, I’ll make one.
Me: Ambitious. I like it. What do you care about most in the world?
Evan: Right. I tell you that, and people will be holding it against me for the rest of my life. Not happening.
Me: Fair enough. Didn’t think of it that way. What’s the easiest way to annoy you?
Evan: Conjecture. I hate when I say I don’t know something, and people keep offering suggestions or explanations anyways. If you don’t know for sure, shut your mouth.
Me: And what the best way of cheering you up?
Evan: A chocolate malt and silence.
Me: All right. Nice and concise, Evan. I appreciate you spending time with me today.
Evan: Sure. I need you to sign off on my service hour.
Me: Can do.
Well, y’all, Evan may not be the revealing or chatty type, but I hope that doesn’t dissuade you from getting to know him better in THE GIRL WITH THE GLOWING HAIR, last chance to get that 25% discount at the Transmundane Press store!